Grazhir :: DragonRealms :: Mistaken Identity

Mistaken Identity

Note: My very, very first in DR, after Hackard seriously pissed me off one day. Naturally, my Bard, Faida, decided to write this up to see if she could sing it in town and get people laughing at him. Mind you, it's been so long that I haven't the faintest idea what he did to upset me any longer.


Ruffian Hackard stomps about
Heavily like a wounded bear
Glowering dark at all he sees
His inner self starts to appear.

The lady he had tried to woo
To charm into his bed that night
Did show him how the truth did lie
And showed him this with all her might.

He met her at that hallowed guild
Of Barbarians so strong and fierce
She awed him with her beauty fair
Her eyes like eagles that did pierce.

Her hair like midnight, dark and sleek
Enough for him to hide within
He could not help but think of cream
Each time his gaze fell on her skin.

From the moment that he saw her
His intent was to make haste
She could be stolen from his sight
He felt he had no time to waste.

He stalked his prey with all the grace
Of a musk hog fully brought to heat
His scent did fill the room so that
All there within took to their feet.

The lady smelled the air and then
Did search the shadows for the scent
Not bothered in the least it seemed
Her tastes did take the strangest bent.

Her eyes went wide as she spied him
Her finger pointed out his place
An appraising look came to her eyes
Looking carefully at his face.

She smiled at him and closer moved
Sniffing appreciatively at the air
Licking her lips and winking broad
She ran her fingers through his hair.

Hackard thought, she wants me too!
His hand reached out to take her arm
He drew her close and led her out
And found a lovely hay filled barn.

The perfect place! The hay did scratch
And ease the rash upon his skin
He threw himself against the bales
Put forth his hand, drew her to him.

She ripped his clothes to tattered rags
Grunting just like the hog he was
And then she kneeled and started to
Reveal the truth of what she was.

His eyes went wide with shock so deep
His lady fair was not quite right
She was wonderous to see indeed
But she was a he and full of might.

He shrieked inside, a frightened mouse
Frantically looking for his escape
He scrambled to his feet and ran
O’er hayloft’s edge, lust turned to hate.

Quickly sprinting through the yard
He stole into the farmhouse door
Stealing the only clothes about
The overalls of the farmer poor.

To shadows slipping from all eyes
He snuck back to his secret base
His mind in turmoil thinking deep
Of any way he could save face.

And so we come back to the start
With Hackard stomping ’round the room
Fearing the lady will tell this wide
He thinks on his impending doom.